Help
by KorraLeigh
Summary: Matt Williams is in the middle of a crisis. Who will help him? 1p x 2p Canada


_Help_

Hetalia

Korra Leigh

12.22.2016

Matt stood in the kitchen with a knife pressed to his skin, adding another mark to the dozens that already criss-crossed there. Three a day was his goal- no more, but no less, either.

The nations and their counterparts were staying at the Conference Hall because it was storming outside and in Russia, where the meeting had been held, no one in their right mind would go out in a storm. Luckily, the Hall doubled as a dorm, so they all had literally everything they needed to survive the night.

Everyone was currently in their rooms, probably asleep, each country deciding to bunk with their opposite. Matt was supposed to be with his boyfriend, the other Canada. But he couldn't sleep, knowing he hadn't gone through his routine before bed. Three a day, no more, no less.

When he finished his task, he wiped away the blood and admired his work, counting the lines on his arm from previous occurances. He washed the knife and his arm under some warm water, hissing at the sting, when he heard a noise behind him. He froze, listening. "Matt?" It was Matthew, his boyfriend. He was probably worried because Matt hadn't come to bed yet. "Y-yeah? What is it, Mattie?" he asked as coolly as possible, not turning around. Mattie walked closer. "What's wrong, baby?" the shorter blond asked caringly. "N-nothing's wrong, Mattie, really. J-just go back to bed, and I'll be there in a minute." "Why are you holding that knife?" Crap, he forgot to put the knife down. "I was, um, washing it." That wasn't a lie; he _had_ been washing it before Mattie walked in. "Why? I was in the kitchen earlier, we didn't use that knife. It's not dirty," Matthew said. Oh no, this kid was so close to finding out. "What happened to your arm? Oh god, Matt, have you been cutting yourself?!" Why didn't he hide his stupid arm? Mattie rushed closer to Matt's side, grabbing his wrist gently and examining it. "You've been hurting yourself. Why did you do this?"

"I've been doing it for a while now, so," was all Matt could think of to say. Matthew did not take this well. He began to yell. "What do you mean?! How long have yopu been doing this?!" he screamed, effectively waking up their brothers. Alfred and Allen both walked into the kitchen to investigate, sleepy-eyed and yawning, to find the two Canadas at the kitchen sink. "What're you guys doing up late like this?" Allen asked, an arm wrapped around Alfred's shoulders. Matthew whirled around to face them, immediately opening his mouth to say,"Matt's been cutting himself!" The shock was evident on both Americas' faces; they were clearly suprised. Allen finally spoke. "I'm going to wake the others. I have a feeling this involves all of us." As he turned in the doorway, he ran into Feliciano, one of the Italies. Feliciano frowned, an action unusual for him. "Someone needs a hug. I can sense it," he said matter-of-factly, pushing past Allen and walking right up to Matt. He stole a glance at Matt's arm and gasped in horor. "It-it's you," he whisperd sadly, putting his arms around Matt and holding him tightly in comfort. When he released him, he stood back and put on a sad smile. "Well, it's no good just standing there bleeding all over the place." He grabbed a first-aid kit from one of the cupboards and wrapped Matt's arm in clean white bandages, gently taping the end so it didn't come loose.

A few moments later the kitchen was full of countries mumbling and asking what was going on. Matthew tapped Alfred on the shoulder and Alfred nodded, knowing the quiet Canadian wouldn't be able to get their attention. He cleared his throat, then,"Hey! Everybody listen up!" Everyone got quiet, eyes and ears focused on the American. "Matt's been hurting himself, and we think it might have something to do with everybody here. _You_ get back here, we have some talking to do," Alfred announced, directiong the last part to Matt, who had tried to slink away through the kitchen's other exit. Matt stopped, looking back guiltily.

"Come on, Matt. We just want to help you." Sweet little Mattie, who was pure and innocent and was everything good in the world. The least Matt could do was listen. He knew he had a problem, and if they all wanted to help him, who was he to deny them?

"Okay, Mattie, I'm listening." He looked at his boyfriend from the corner of his eye. Matthew guided him to the table, helping him sit down. "Why do you hurt yourself, Matt?" the shorter Canadian asked after a few moments.

Matt's chest suddenly tightened. "I-I don't know..." "Matt, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong," Allen said, sitting beside his brother. "Now try again." "I...I really don't know, it just... it _hurts_." "What?" Feliciano asked. "My chest, like-" Matt jabbed himself in the chest with his thumb, right where his heart would be. "Right here." Mattie put his hand on one of Matt's. "Your heart." "Y-yeah, I guess." "Oh, Matt. I'm so sorry, if I'd known you were hurting, I would've-" "It's not your fault." Francois, the alternate France, spoke up.

"He's right, it's not you. It's probably me," Francois said, lighting a cigarette. "When he was little, I didn't raise him properly. It's my fault." At this Oliver, one of the Englands, lent his voice to the argument. "Now, don't say that, poppet. It's _my_ fault. I should've helped you to raise him-" Matthew interrupted. "What if it _is_ me? W-what if I don't make him happy enough?"

Matt finally burst. "Shut up!" The countries all stopped talking and looked at him. The strawberry blond continued quietly. "It's not any of you. It's just me, that's just how I am. I have problems, okay, and listening to you all blame yourself for my problems isn't helping. So I'll be leaving." And with that, he ran out of the kitchen, leaving the rest of the nations to wonder what his next move was.

They all followed his footsteps out to the meeting room, where he had closed the door with a slam. It was quiet, except for the quiet sobbing coming from the other side of the door, where Matt was. The crying stopped and they all watched as a pool of red seeped under the door. "Matt!" the Canadian screamed, flinging the door open. Matt, who had been sitting against said door, fell backwards into the blood, head hitting the ground painfully. The bandages that had been wrapped so carefully around his arm were now strewn across the floor in front of him, and his arm was bleeding heavily. He'd scratched at the cuts and reopened them, both the new ones and the old. There were tears in his eyes as he looked up at everyone pitifully, not making the effort to move out of the blood that still poured from his wounds. "What? Why are you all so worried, it's not like you actually care."

This made Matthew cry, the North American country doubling over in tears, forcing the words out of his mouth. "H-how could you...s-say s-something like that?" Alfred came forward to comfort his brother, glaring at Matt. Matthew kept talking. "I l-love you, don't y-you know t-that?" Matt's eyes widened. "We all c-care about you, especially your family, especially _m-me_. Why don't you b-believe that?"

Matt sighed, sitting back up, back turned to the others. "I can't feel it," he whispered, wrapping his arms around his knees. "What?" "I can't feel it. This thing you call 'love,' I can't feel it coming from any of you. I just... I can't feel it," Matt repeated, closing his eyes and letting the remaining tears fall down his face. Matthew got on his knees and hugged Matt from behind, burying his face in his boyfriend's neck. Matt leaned into the embrace, though he mumbled,"I'm sorry... I still don't feel it." Matthew squeezed his eyes shut, whispering back. "What can I do, Matt? How can I-" "I don't know."

Then, one at a time, each country kneeled down and wrapped their arms around Matt. Allen was the first, followed by Alfred, then Feliciano, then Francis and Francois. Then Oliver, Arthur, the Russias, the other Italy, the Germanies, the Chinas, the Japans. Even Kumajiro, Matthew's pet polar bear, snuggled up to Matt, licking his tears away gently. Matt felt their presence, and he opened his eyes so he could see all the nations surrounding him. He cracked a smile. "It's getting kinda hot, guys. Aren't you getting uncomfortable?" he said, a hint of amusement in his voice, and Mattie laughed, hugging him tighter. "What about now? Can you feel it?" Mattie asked, and Matt nodded. "I'm still bleeding, though. Feliciano, I need a doctor," he joked, and Feliciano lightly smacked him on the head. "Last time i fixed you, you went and ruined it," he said with a smile, and went to fetch the kit. "Everybody's gonna have to move, so I can get to my patient." Arthur chuckled nervously. "I-I think we're stuck." Everyone laughed at that and the pile of countries broke, several falling on their rears while others stumbled, trying to regain their balance. Feliciano quickly wrapped the injured arm in new bandages, smiling at his work and watching as Matthew took Matt's face in his hands, kissing him gently. A snap was heard and heads turned to see Kiku holding up his camera at the two. More laughter, followed by Matt attempting to retrieve the camera from him and ultimately failing. Matthew just laughed along with everyone else, not minding the fact that he was caught in the act.

When Matt finally settled beside Matthew again in defeat, he leaned on Mattie, his head resting on the other's shoulder, a pout on his face. Mattie kissed him again


End file.
